Refusal Stage..

I am in denial..
I refuse to mark..
I refuse to work..
I refuse to think..
I refuse to talk..
I refuse to admit that life is meaningful..
I refuse to say that i am happy..
I refuse to think positively..
I refuse to see the light at the other end..
I refuse to understand other ppl..
I refuse to accept the fact that he's still there..
I refuse to go for the tournament tmr..
I refuse to feel happy..
I refuse to change the colour of this entry..
I refuse to....
I refuse to....
I simply refuse to say anymore...

CAn'T go Vietnam agaiN?

Oh my! I am so sad.. Jus heard from the office that my P didn't approve my leave to go to VN.. She asked how come i have to go to an AVIAN FLU country.. I am so sad.. Seems like i got to go to her personally and request for her permission.. I guess she will give me a long talk on it.. IF she is free la.. Or she will jus refuse flat on my face.. HOW HOW HOW?? if i am not in this line, who cares where i go?? I understand the situation and i am willing to quarantine myself if needed... I really wanna go.. Why cant nobody understand??? WHy??

In memory of Ah Bi..

Ah Bi resting..

Ping's doggie just pass away..
The last time I saw her, i knew something was wrong.. She was very listless and she isn't as active as she was before.. Then i saw the lump at her stomach, i told ping and she said she will bring her to the vet the next day.. And today, ping told me she's dead..
I am so sad.. No longer can i hear the barks and cries of her.. No longer can i pat her and let her snuggle in my arms.. They always say i pamper her too much and that's why she will cry if i don't carry her immediately when i enter the house.. But i Can no longer hear her or touch her...

Inspirational Talk

Today was Feast Day cum Music Day. There was a drum performance and i loved it! The music were loud but uplifting! At least i didn't fall asleep! I even got a chance to go on stage to try out the drums.. COOL!! Haha.. THis is the first time! Anyway, I was hyper today.. I think it's cuz i am happy that there's no lesson today! haha..

It has been such a long time since i took a pic with my photo kaki!!

After that, we had a LJ to the Kranji Countryside! Wow.. Had our lunch there and I must say that i can see the changes in SIngapore is so drastic that even farmers now are the new age ones! Stereotype farmers are tanned, skinny old ah peks.. But from what i know, farmers now are graduates.. The new age farmers.. I believe that they will be the ones who will bring agriculture, farming (of any sorts, be it fish or vege) to greater heights.. Their passion can be seen in the farmers i met before and today.. In order to succeed, we need to have PHD.. Passion, Determination and.... Hunger.. Hunger for wat? Hunger to know more, hunger to strive, hunger to succeed.. I agree with him totally.. From what i can see in my vietnamese frenz, they have the hunger for knowledge, the hunger to succeed and that is why they are so willing to learn.. When u have the hunger, passion and determination will follow right behind.. And success, it will come eventually.. I admire the people i see today.. I see them as the ones who are the real successful people, they know what they want and what they are doing.. They have goals.. They are working towards it.. I am happy for them..
As for me, I know what i lack.. I lack hunger.. I lack the hunger to strive.. I am a slacker.. I take each day as it comes.. I am not performing to my best capabilities? (or am i already at my best? Not very sure)..

Saw this cat..He's so aloof! hee hee.. but cute la..

Sentosa trip

Went Sentosa yesterday for a gathering.. Everyone brought so much food that we really thought we won't be able to finish.. The best part was JJ's bee hoon.. IT's a mountain! That was enough for at least 20 ppl.. I think JJ's mum thinks that everyone eat as much as him! haha.. After eating, most of us is feeling so lethargic.. Esp me.. Hee hee.. When some of them went for a walk by the beach, i was sleeping.. Really piggy of me la.. But the sun and the breeze is really too comfy!!
We should have brought some games there but none of us remembered...
THey were saying that we should have a gathering every month.. So they started to plan for the next month's gathering.. Wow.. THat's fast.. As for me, i will choose not to be the organiser next time round.. Let them decide where they want to go and i'll jus tag along... COOL!! No more brainstorming on my part...

Judy, me & ice with the backdrop of sunset.. Nice...

Food... Food.. and More food....

夕阳

看着夕阳，
有些人会有感慨，
有些人会惊叹，
而有些人，根本没有感觉。

看着那平静的海水，

那柔和的太阳，

我的心却无法平静，

我想与某人分享这一刻，

可惜，

那人却不在我身边。

夕阳总是那样地让人着迷，

夕阳的美

不在于地点，

而在于你

当时与谁一起，

以及

当时的感觉。

与这么多人在一起的我，

理应不会寂寞。

但是，

为什么我却感觉到心里有一丝丝的寂寞

正在向我哭诉？

放下

放下

真的很难，

但我想我做到了。

那个常盼望，希望你回应的我

已经被我抛到了脑后！

我不会再傻傻地等你

等你的联络

或问候

再见

Sensitive PPl

Sometimes, a person can get so sensitive that u will get so fed up with them. In any relationship, be it friendship, love, employee etc, there's a need for trust. If there's no trust, then I don't see the point in saying anything else. If any action u take or word u say, they take it to be you avoiding them or lying to them, what's the point of being friends? If it's so hard for you to believe me, then let's not be friends anymore. I am fine with it. I don't need a friend who don't even trust me!!

Boiling mad!!

Under Eight

I expected more from this show.. The plot is simple but the duration is too long.. But of course, the huskies is the main lead here, they are so lovable!! Cute!!

I was supposed to be marking compos and as usual, entertainment takes first place.. Really wonder when i will change this bad habit of mine.. Haiz.. Anyway, a leopard can't change its spots.. I better go and sleep now.. I need to go back to sch to mark tmr.. Luckily my dear fren is gg back.. If not, i will be so lonely!

Long weekend!

Yippee.. Long weekend is here! I MUST finish whatever i had set out to do!! If not, i will have no time to do it when school starts on monday..

Someone is angry with me for not keeping my promise.. But I really don't mean to do it.. There are a lot of factors to consider.. To you, i can only say I'm sorry... I have already appologize, if u are still angry, then there's nothing i can do..

Funny but true.. (some of it)

This is the road to enlightenment, revised...
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact jus leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you' re going to steal your neighbour' s milk, that' s the time to do it.
4. Censored.. I got students reading my blog..
5. Don' t be irreplaceable. If you can' t be replaced, you can' t be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you' re unique. Just like everyone else.
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares whether you' re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you' re a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don' t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don' t have to remember anything.
15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.
16. Don' t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
23. Experience is something you don' t get until just after you need it.

My Dear GALS!! All OF u DID SO WeLL!!

Today is the inter-class competition.. It's so tiring.. THe hall is so hot and we had to be there almost the whole day even streching till noon... But i Think at least the whole thing went well..
I am extremely happy with my classes.. All of them did their best.. Though they are not in the top standing.. I am still Very very proud of them! I saw how hard they try and the amount of effort they put in.. I learnt a lot of things from today's competition and i know how far my students can stretch.. Will go get presents for each of them.. THey deserve it!
GOOD JOB!!

Met up with JH in the evening for dinner.. had a nice talk with her.. I can see tat she is very concerned abt me getting so negative.. I wil try to be more positive and try to get back the old ME.. I will really try..

True siah..

Dear Jasmine,
Here is your horoscope for Friday, April 7:
Your body wants to relax, but your brain wants to stay busy. What to do? Listen to your body. Slow down just long enough to really recuperate. After all, what's the point of all that work if you get sick from it?

累累累

心累了。。。

身累了。。。

脑累了。。。

每天都是大忙天。。。

是我太过懒散了？还是。。。我心不在焉。。。

常常把事情拖至最后才做，
常常都没办法把事情做完，
常常抱怨着工作太多，
常常需要休息。

以休息是为了走更长远的路为借口，
让自己忙里偷闲，
让自己能偷一下懒。

结果，
常得要留到关门为止。。。

可笑、
可悲、
可怜、
可恶的自己！

Quote of the day

Quote for the day..

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.

when i was jus a little girl....

While i was at auntie's hse, my sister flipped thru some old photos and saw 2 pics of me.. hee hee.. I have never seen any photo of myself when i was young.. They thot it was ah boy kor kor.. But then Boy kor kor says it's me.. Hee hee.. Germaine asked how come i am wearing boy boy clothes.. Well, too poor mah.. so all the clothes are pass downs from ah boy kor kor wat.. No choice.. That's y i am so unfeminine now wat.. Influence of brother... hee hee...

The photo quality is not that good as i took it using hp..

EyeS hurting...

Went out early in the morning to go and pray to mum at gong ming shan.. Boy kor kor sent us there.. So many ppl were there to pray to their loved ones... Whole place is filled with incense smoke.. My eyes will tear whenever i walk pass the offerings.. However, I feel happy that ppl still remember to pray to their ancestors, this shows that the chinese culture is still in the roots but i wonder how long will this custom last... I dun tink it'll last for too long.. TO me, it's always important for the young to remember their ancestors.. But, that rememberance is fading...

After that we went to visit auntie(mum's sister)... She aged a lot.. No longer the chirpy auntie i knew.. She stays alone in a 4 room flat.. Such a big flat but such a lonely old lady.. I have no idea why she refuses to stay with my cousins.. BUt that's her choice.. She pulled me to 1 side before i left and asked me if dad's still staying with me.. She cried when she said that she can't even go and pay her respects to mum on qing ming and on her death anniversary.. I told her that mum will understand that.. She dreamt of mum a few days back but she had already forgotten wat she dreamt about.. I can feel her sadness.. She really wished to join mum.. I know that.. I wished too... But i CAn't.. At least not when my dad is still ard.. She blamed me for not visiting her often.. I really dun know wat to say.. Am i escaping? escaping from that face that resembles mum or am i too lazy to do so?? I think i am jus too lazy.. Busy is jus an excuse i give myself and to her...

Time flies.. Tomorrow is mum death anniversary.. It has been 2 years.. But i cant go and pray to her as i am in school...